Recently I purchased a first edition hardcover copy of Cosmos by Carl Sagan on eBay. Inside the middle of the book, between page 208 and page 209, I found an envelope containing a letter and card. Apparently, the book was originally a Christmas present to a man named Dan. It appears it was given around the time the book first came out in 1980.

The letter reads as follows:

"Merry Christmas

My Dearest Dan,

I hope everytime you pick up this book you think of me, and know how much I love you. It is given with all my love and all my heart. You are the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me, and also the best friend I could ever have or want. Honey I mean this with all my heart, I never knew what love was till I met you. I hope you have everything in life you ever want.

All my love always,
Linda

I wanted to write this in the book, but I knew that wouldn't be to wise. So, just read this and throw it away if you want, but don't throw my love away ever."

To see such a artifact of personal intimacy, I was rather taken aback. However, I was very touched by the seemingly heartfelt sentiment.

 

(I think her name is "Linda" at any rate, I keep thinking it might be "Hinda," but "Linda" appears to be what it truly is after an embarrasing amount of discussion on the matter with a couple friends of mine.)

By this point, the subtleties of the words finally started to sink in. When she writes "want you with me every night" it might indicate they are together to some degree of infrequency. The hesitancy to write a permanent note within the book itself, which could be found and read by someone else, lends itself to the possibility of an affair. And the phrase, "I hope you have everything in life you ever want" gives me the subtle yet distinct impression that she has accepted a fate that they can never be together in the long term.

I find myself wondering who this Dan and Linda were and whatever happened to them. The letter obviously did mean a great deal to Dan too as he never did throw it away as Linda had suggested, but kept it always in the book she had given him. He kept it till is death, I am guessing, as this book was found at a yard sale in Illinois by the eBay seller whom I purchased it from. I don't think it very likely that he'd give up the book almost 30 years later with such a note left it inside.

I believe I will always keep the letter and card inside this copy of Cosmos. It doesn't seem right that they should part company. Dan and Linda may or may not have been able to be together in life, I'll certainly never know. But right here is a touching moment of their intimate past and I feel compelled to preserve and honor the history by keeping the letter and book together.